All to Him I Owe

“Dad, can I ask you a question?”

In our house, we are in a season of parenting in which we hear this question frequently. On a recent, two-day camping trip with the girls, I counted a minimum of twelve times that they asked me that question. All children are naturally inquisitive. They are observing, processing, and coming to conclusions. One of our many jobs as parents is to be teachers that provide them with the answers that help them grow and mature appropriately.

Deuteronomy 6:7 says, “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” According to this verse, there is a 24-hour nature to our teaching responsibility. It doesn’t just happen during a block class or a designated time. The instruction of our children is to happen as we live alongside them day in and day out.

Because of this 24-hour responsibility, it is imperative that we consider two items. First, we must take responsibility for creating a teaching atmosphere in our family that is conducive to this 24-hour teaching. Second, we must also learn to recognize the multitude of teachable moments that surface throughout the day, and seize them. May I share with you today a few thoughts that I’m learning and aspiring to implement that might be a help to you as parents?

In order to create a teaching atmosphere, consider implementing the following two things:

1. Create seasons of life and times in a day that are free from excessive busyness and noise. Fewer and fewer homes are experiencing seasons of rest and quiet. The extracurricular activities are consuming the schedule. The noise of television, video games, and music blasts through homes, creating a difficult atmosphere to just talk and listen. Most of us are schedulers. We operate with a calendar close by, and schedule our lives events. Would you consider beginning to schedule times of quiet and rest? Every classroom teacher knows the value of well-rested children, who have learned to sit still and listen quietly.
2.  Strive for good parent/child interaction. It is easy in the busyness of life to just allow the television to do our babysitting for us. When life is busy, we want to send kids to their room or to the yard to get out of our hair so we can accomplish our tasks. If we make a regular habit of these things, we can subtly train our children to stay away from us, because they are a distraction. But, in reality, we ought to want them to be around (especially as they get into their teen years).

The following are some “walkest-by-the-way” teachable moments to use:

1. The follow-up conversation after our children observe bad examples. Have you ever watched a child have a tantrum in the store? Have your kids ever seen someone lose their cool in the check-out line? Those bad examples can often be a great opportunity to follow up with a simple conversation that helps our children know what was done wrong and what should have been done.
2. The follow-up conversation after our children observe good examples. Acts of kindness, gratitude, good behavior, and sweet responses of others can be great opportunities to teach our children. Commend those acts, and explain why they were good!
3. Preparation for life events. A friend of mine taught me and Beneth a simple principle in parenting: practice in private what you expect in public. Anytime you are about to participate in a public event (church service, dinner at someone’s home, a visit to grandma’s, etc.), take some time ahead of the event to teach and practice behaviors that are expected in those times.
4. First-hand exposure to people who have had interesting life experiences. I enjoy having people in our home, and I love watching our girls sit and listen to the stories of missionaries who visit us. I like watching their eyes as they hear adults tell of their life experiences. Our girls have heard stories and learned truths from people sitting at our dinner table that they will never forget.
5. Answer their regular questions with patience, love, and truth.  Inquisitive children want answers, and if they don’t get them from us, they will look somewhere else for them. Teachable moments occur every time our children ask questions. Many teachers in the world give wrong answers. But it is imperative that we follow the Deuteronomy 6:7 exhortation and grasp the task of being parents that teach as we “walk by the way.”

May the Lord give us the strength, energy, and wisdom to be great teachers to our children this week.

** Note: this post is a slight re-write from a previous post concerning our annual Men’s Retreat. **

Our annual Ladies Retreat is this weekend. We have 37 ladies signed up and ready to spend the weekend together enjoying the outdoors, preaching, good food, and fellowship. Each one attending the retreat incurs a cost. There is a financial cost to attend, a day off of work, a separation from family, and the cost of giving up your own bed to sleep in a camp bed! Though much is spent to make this weekend happen, there is also a value that comes from this weekend. I would like to submit five values to this weekend’s retreat.

1. The value of seclusion – There is great value in getting away from the busyness of work, family, and daily life. Cell phone coverage is limited and there are no tvs in the room, or newspapers delivered to your doorstep. The retreat really is a getaway that pulls us away from the normal voices that fill our ears on a daily basis and allows us to focus on the still small voice of God.

2. The value of concentration – Because of the seclusion that camp offers we are freed to concentrate on the things that matter most in our lives. Our spiritual condition is the most important part of us and is sadly the thing we sometimes overlook first in the busyness of life. The retreat offers a time to concentrate on our walk with the Lord and the spiritual needs that are present within our heart. The schedule is relatively relaxed. It is not hard to grab a chair, coffee and the Bible and just spend time with the Lord. The four times of Bible preaching support this concentration and serve as the platform to direct our thoughts towards our relationship with God.

3. The value of exposition – Our speaker this weekend is Mrs. Harriet Dickson. She will carefully explain the scriptures in a pointed way that helps each one hear the voice of God from the Word of God. Though we are going to enjoy shooting, paintball, good food, games and laughter the preaching of the Word is the most valuable of activities that we will experience.

4. The value of interaction – Most of our relationships at church are established as we meet together each Sunday. Our conversations are quick and filled with surface level conversations. Depending on where we sit in the auditorium there may be some ladies that you have never interacted with more than a nod, and a hello. This retreat allows you the value of an extended time of interaction with the ladies in our congregation. I hope you will come with a desire to meet someone new and build a stronger relationship with the ladies in our church.

5. The value of decision – The messages we  hear at camp will emphasize making a decision to live differently in response to the Word of God. In the quiet times of decision we have the opportunity to set a course for our lives that can affect us (and possibly our families) for all of eternity.

No one argues the cost of going to a weekend retreat. The cost is worth it though when we put into the context of the value of a retreat.

Throughout the pages of Scripture, men of God were driven into times of prolonged solitude with God. The solitude came in places like an ark, a prison cell, the backside of a desert, a pasture, and the belly of a fish. God drove some of these men to these quiet places, while others just stepped into them through obedience.

We need quiet solitary places! This world can be a noisy place filled with the sounds of a fallen world and all of its temptations. Our souls are often noisy places as the worries, stress, and tensions mount and fill our lives. The noise fills our lives and makes the simple disciplines of the spiritual life like prayer, Bible reading, and Scripture meditation extremely difficult.

I wish that I desired the quiet places with God more than I do. The truth of the matter is that God often drives me kicking and screaming to the quiet places. It scares me that I get uncomfortable when it seems too quiet. I feel at times like an addict attempting to detox from noise while I fidget, wiggle, and wrestle with thoughts while God imposes quiet on my life. It amazes me that setting aside thirty minutes to an hour of quiet time with God can be such a battle. We bow our heads to pray and suddenly become ADD in our thoughts as we wrestle to articulate clear requests and praise to God.

My guess is that we are all very much alike. We are battling to have quiet time, while often battling with God, because He is driving us into the quiet place. Often, He is doing so through difficult circumstances and adversity. You might be facing some of these things today and wrestling with the idea that you are in a place where you have no one else but God and a lot of quiet. Think about this for a moment: if we are battling to have quiet time and God chooses to bring events into our lives that drive us into the quiet place, isn’t that a blessing?

I want to encourage you today to thank God for driving you into the quiet places. Take advantage of those places and “taste and see that the Lord is good.” Don’t hurry away from those times and places when it is just you and God. Relish those times and make the most of them. It is the goodness of God that He provides them for you.

I leave you with this encouraging poem below.

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I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.
Into the shadows where we could confide.
Away from the bustle where all the day long
I hurried and worried when active and strong.

I needed the quiet tho at first I rebelled
But gently, so gently, my cross He upheld
And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things.
Tho weakened in body, my spirit took wings
To heights never dreamed of when active all day.
He loved me so greatly He drew me away.

I needed the quiet. No prison my bed,
But a beautiful valley of blessings instead.
A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide.
I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.

Alice Hansche Mortenson