All to Him I Owe

Our lives often resemble the congestion of a busy highway—people passing by us at lightning speed, while we tightly grip the steering wheel of life trying to make sure we stay in our lane and don’t crash into anyone on our way to our intended destination. Life is busy; but God put us on this earth for the purpose of touching people and sharing with them the good news of the Gospel, on our way to Heaven, our final destination. So how do we do that gracefully, without it feeling like we are just crashing into people as we fly through life? By merging into their lane of life with the use of some good on-ramps. Each of us needs to be building relationships, or on-ramps, into the lives of others. The following tips may equip you in this process.

1. Know your destination and build on-ramps that enable you to reach that destination.

Did you know that the famous London Bridge is actually in Arizona and goes absolutely nowhere? In 1968, Robert McCulloch purchased the bridge for $2.5 million. Each brick was individually coded, and then the bridge was transported to Lake Havasu City, Arizona, where it was meticulously reconstructed brick by brick at a further cost of $7 million. Next, a channel was constructed underneath the bridge in order for water to actually flow under it. The irony is that the London Bridge is right next to the Colorado River, which at this particular spot has no bridge going over it, even though there is a legitimate need for one: the nearest crossing points for the residents of Lake Havasu City are either thirty miles to the north or twenty five miles to the south. Great effort and expense were put into building a bridge that really goes nowhere.

Many of the relationships we have built are just like the London Bridge: they don’t go anywhere, because we have not determined our final destination. Our initial destination for any relationship is a clear presentation of the Gospel. But our final destination is leading that person to Christ, discipling him, and then having him join us in helping others come to know Christ.

To build good on-ramps, know where your relationships are designed to end, and build with that destination in mind.

2. On-ramps do not build themselves.

On-ramps, or relationships, are not built through a particular program of the church. They are built by people. Building on-ramps will require initiative and hard word on YOUR part.

That initiative takes the form of a one-on-one, which means much more than just talking to people. I like to define a one-on-one as the process by which we stop our world to connect to someone else’s—and that’s where the hard work comes in.

3. Investment and time are the concrete that makes strong, healthy on-ramps.

On-ramps are strengthened and made healthy through investment, which typically requires both your time and your dime. That means that initially, in order to strengthen that relationship, you may have to drive farther than the one you’re investing in, pay more than he does, and sacrifice more than he does.

But the relationship will begin to grow even stronger and healthier when there is a two-way investment. A practical way you can encourage this is to allow your new friend to begin to invest in you. Ask him to teach you things that he does really well. If he is a grill master, let him teach you how to grill better. If he is good at a particular hobby, allow him to show you his skill. The things that people are good at are often the things they love. When we like what they love, relationships deepen.

In addition to investment, good relationships are strengthened through time. Although the Exchange Bible Study is designed for just four weeks, it may take you a number of weeks, even months, to build a relationship to the place that enables you to start that four-week study. We must abandon the idea that gospel Bible studies will only require four weeks of my life. It will require a significant investment of time to build the relationship for the sake of the gospel and to continue the relationship for discipleship after the person has accepted Christ.

4. Create an on-ramp that has a family environment to it.

Hosting a new friend in your home, a friend who feels like not much more than a stranger, is much different than hosting a family member you love and enjoy. It feels awkward at first, and that’s normal, but our goal is to do some things to intentionally overcome that awkwardness and make our new friend feel like family. Maybe these practical suggestions will help you.

First, use your homes and specifically your dining room table. Christ often gathered with the lost and His disciples around a meal. The act of gathering around a table in your home for a meal creates conversation, which in turn builds relationships. Perhaps your dining room table has become an unofficial storage spot, forcing your family to gather in front of the television for meals. Could I encourage you to clear off that table, prepare a simple meal, and invite your guests to be part of your family around the table?

Second, include the whole family in your pursuit of relationships with the unsaved. Your spouse and children can be part of the team that helps you reach people. The multiple personalities and interests within your home may be the tools necessary to make the people around you connect. If you are going to reach people for the gospel and then disciple them well, they are going to need to start doing life with you AND your family.

Third, invite people to join you for the normal things of life, not just the big events or the special services at church. Backyard BBQ’s, a walk around the neighborhood, watching the big sports game in your home, attending a concert or movie together—all of those normal things of life are not quite so daunting to an unbeliever; and you may find that they prove to be a good method for building on-ramps into people’s lives.

When you were learning to drive, you spent a lot of time on back country roads far from the intense traffic. At some point, you had to leave the country roads, drive down an on-ramp, and enter into the traffic on the freeway. Your knuckles were white, and fear gripped your heart (and probably your passengers’ hearts as well). Over time, though, the fear went away; and driving on and off the freeway just became part of driving. In a similar way, don’t be surprised if building on-ramps and then merging into the lives of people frightens you. Your first steps in building those on-ramps may feel awkward; but over time, it will just become part of living. When merging your life into the lives of others becomes normal for you, you will be accomplishing the purpose God has for you here on earth.

A young man was sitting on the very last row in his classroom sound asleep while the teacher taught. Unbeknownst to the sleeping student, the principal was in the hallway observing his nodding head and closed eyes. After a few moments, the principal barged into the classroom and asked the teacher, “Do you know Stephen is sleeping in the back of your class?” After the teacher acknowledged that he did, the principal said, “What are you going to do about it?” The teacher responded, “Nothing. He’s a lot better behaved when he’s sleeping.” Perhaps you could have related to Stephen while you were in school.  Chances are that when test time comes for Stephen, though, he won’t be behaving: he’ll be grouchy, irritable, stressed, and possibly short-tempered, because he slept through class.

The same is often true for some people: they “misbehave” outside class, because they have a habit of sleeping through class. They didn’t learn the important things that they needed to know in regards to how to behave and respond to the things happening around them.

“No Christian can avoid theology. Every Christian is a theologian. Perhaps not a theologian in the technical or professional sense, but a theologian nonetheless. The issue for Christians is not whether we are going to be theologians but whether we are going to be good theologians or bad ones.”  

As I have worked with people over the years, I have seen direct improvements in their feelings of depression, guilt, discouragement, and fear as their knowledge of God (i.e. theology) has grown. These people were not just reading their Bible and attending church. They were reading their Bible and attending church with an alertness to find out more about God! They didn’t just learn about God, they started becoming doers of the Word and applying what they knew about God to their everyday lives.

I’m afraid too many people are sleeping through theology class and wondering why they think, behave, and react the way they do. Too much is at stake. By God’s grace, may we stay alert this week and learn more about our wonderful God.

I’m praying for our church to be students who are awake in theology class!

There are a lot of reasons people refuse to consider their own personal wrong responses to the hurtful things that have happened in their past. Some people refuse to consider it because of fear. They believe someone may use their acknowledgement of sin against them. That kind of fear must be overcome by a simple choice to obey God’s Word rather than our own feelings or suspicions. Some people refuse to consider their wrong responses in the past because they are foolish. They personally believe they were justified in what they did therefore their choices were not wrong. Proverbs 12:15 puts this kind of thinking into the category of a fool when it states, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes.”

I John 2:1-2 says, “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”

This passage points out two crucial truths about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ: He is both our advocateand our propitiation. As our advocate, He defends us when the enemy of our souls accuses us before the throne of God day and night (Rev.12:10). And the basis of His defense is not our righteousness but His. He is our propitiation or satisfaction. When our adversary accuses us, and often rightly so, our heavenly lawyers points to the wounds in His hands and side. Then the holy Father raps the gavel and declares that our sin has been forgiven and the case is dismissed.

Don’t let any more time go by before you confess the wrong responses you have had to the hurts of your past. Forgiveness is too valuable and accessible to forsake it any longer.

Our family has been attempting to relocate here in Folsom. In our search for new housing, we have been reading contracts and rental home requirements. We are looking within documents for a full disclosure of our responsibilities for payment and requirements for living. Full disclosure helps us make wise and thoughtful decisions.

John 16:33 gives us full disclosure to our righteous lives here on earth. It says, “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.” God’s full disclosure of life here on earth eliminates the element of surprise and enables us to focus on four right responses to the inevitable suffering of the righteous.

1. We must respond to suffering honestly.

Psalm 73:2 is helpful concerning this point. Notice how the Psalmist speaks openly and honestly to his suffering. He says, “But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.” He is not taking a “buck it up” or “real men don’t cry” mentality. He is honestly admitting the suffering and his vulnerability within it. In a similar fashion, we must respond through an honest admission of hard times and their impact on our lives. However, we cannot allow this to be the only element of our response. Notice the next three points.

2. We must respond to suffering by allowing God to deepen our relationship with His Word.

Richard Baxter said that “suffering unhinges the doors of our hearts to allow the Word of God easier entrance.” Have you found that to be true in your life? The Psalmist in Psalm 119 certainly found that to be true. Notice vss. 50, 67, 71, and 75. All four of these declare the profit the Psalmist received from suffering. The Word of God had comforted him (vs.50), kept him faithful (vs.67), taught him truths (vs.71), and reinforced God’s faithfulness to him (vs.75).

3. We must respond to suffering with a view that screens suffering through the lens of eternity.

I Peter 1:6-7 is so helpful in this regard. To those who have suffered or are suffering in something that feels like a lifetime, take comfort. Scripture teaches us that the longest suffering here on earth is still brief compared to eternity!

4. We must respond to suffering missionally.

The Psalmist Asaph and the Apostle Paul were both able to endure suffering because they looked at their suffering as a channel to one day help others who suffer.

Psalm 73:28 says, “But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.”

II Corinthians 1:4 says, “Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”

II Corinthians 1:6 says “And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation.”

We must not be surprised that God may lead us through something and give us something that is for a purpose bigger than ourselves. A missional response to suffering seeks to allow God to do things through us for the sake of others.

To each of you who has suffered righteously, have you responded right to righteous suffering?

A few months ago, I was involved in an accident that did an immense amount of damage to the front end of our vehicle. In the process of getting it repaired, I realized that I had a multifaceted problem: the body and engine were damaged, as well as some other key parts. The multifaceted problem required a multifaceted solution. I needed a guy who could do body work and a guy who could do engine repair.

Our past is multifaceted as well. It is not just one big lump. It is not a large, mysterious entity that cannot be understood or properly addressed. God’s Word can help us assess it and handle it well! It is important that we learn to properly look at our past and categorize it Biblically so that we can find the specific principles that Scripture gives us to help us with the specific facets of our past.

Think about it this way:

1. To those who suffered innocently but responded right, you have the riveting story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50.

2. To those who suffered innocently but didn’t respond right, you have the sobering story of Naomi in the book of Ruth.

3. To those who sinned in your past and did respond right, you have the humbling story of the disciple Peter.

4. To those who sinned in your past and did not respond right, you have the sad story of King David.

Today, here is your homework. Practice the discipline of categorizing your past correctly. You may not be responsible for all that is in your past, but you are responsible for how you respond to each event. My prayer is that God will help you respond right with the help of these email thoughts.

Hello, my name is Ron Perry, and I have a past. My past consists of both good things and bad things. The mysterious difficulty of my past (and your past) is that the good things seem easy to forget and the bad things seem to be unforgettable. The good things in our lives are all a gift of God (Ecclesiastes 3:13; James 1:17). God has graciously sprinkled our lives with wonderful things and experiences, but they seem to quickly hide behind the bad memories. The bad things in our past all fall into one of two categories.

1. Past sinful actions that I have done.
2. Painful circumstances caused by the hands of others.

These bad things are hard to forget! It seems to only take a song, smell, or statement; and a flood of those bad memories flow back into our minds.

That past, whether good or bad, affects our present day lives. One Christian author defines the past as “the accumulation of events, choices, responses, habits, attitudes, desires, feelings and beliefs that frame the patterns, interpretations, and routines of our lives today.”

Our past is powerful! People fill pastors’ offices and counseling couches trying to figure out how to handle their bad past. It is imperative that we learn how to respond right to our past, and the Bible teaches that it is possible to do this. I’m going to take the next few posts and use this  forum to help us respond right to our past. I’m calling this series “Finding Hope when We Look in the Rearview Mirror of our Lives.”

I’m looking forward to presenting some helpful truths to each of you. Your past–the sin and the suffering–does not have to be an unbearable burden that is always weighing you down! God provides perspective and power to move beyond that!

Making disciples is not a complicated process, but it is a lot of work that requires lots of sacrifice. Have you noticed that people do not coordinate their struggles with your schedule? In the process of your effort to make disciples, you will find that your friends will need help at inconvenient times in ways that will be uncomfortable for you. You will spend great amounts of time, personal assets, and energy as you come alongside them to help them walk with the Lord. At times, it will be discouraging and disappointing. Sometimes the people you help most will hurt you the most with their responses to your care. You may lose friends along the way, have your motives questioned, and have lies told about you. You may be taken advantage of and treated with great disdain. So why in the world would anyone want to do the work of discipleship?

First, we should be disciple makers, because Jesus commanded us to be one. The Great Commission is not just a command to give the gospel. It is also a command to make disciples! Disciple making is not something I may do if I want to and have time. It is something I must do because God told me to. Our church will be a healthy church when we see discipleship as something we must do and not something we might do if it is convenient.

Second, we should be disciple makers, because it is one of the supreme ways we tell God that we love Him. Remember when Christ asked Peter if he loved Him? Each time that Peter answered, “Yes,” the Lord replied, “Feed my sheep.” Christ was telling Peter – and each of us who love the Lord – that we will best demonstrate love by loving who Christ loves, His sheep.

Third, we should be disciple makers, because the more we help others grow spiritually, the more we will grow. While our motive to disciple others should never be self-serving, we will find that we will be served if we help others. God will often use the struggles of others to act as a mirror for our own lives. We will see our own needs through the needs of others. As we give Scripture to help others, we will find that the same verse we are giving is the same verse we need, as well.

I have found that a lot of churches are filled with Christian spectators, rather than disciple makers. Each of us should evaluate our own life and ask the question, “Am I watching others do the work or am I personally doing the work?”

Because we are a church that is growing both spiritually and numerically, we need your help in discipling this ever-growing congregation. Look at the friends God has given you here at FBC and begin doing the work of discipleship in a way that shows your love and obedience to God.

Discipleship is hard but certainly worth doing!

This may surprise you, but God never said that He would bless your “humble opinion.” He did say, though, that He will bless His Word!

Do you have friends who are struggling? Are they working through difficult circumstances or hard questions? If so, then lay down your opinions and pick up Bible answers. Allow Scripture to fulfill its God-given purpose of furnishing believers with everything that we need (II Timothy 3:17). Take Scriptural principles and season your conversations with them. The issues your friends deal with in their walk with God are not mere scratches and bruises that are healed by your opinions. They are often deep-rooted heart issues and cancerous struggles of the flesh, which can only be solved with Scripture.

A lot of people shy away from disciple making because they don’t think they know enough Bible to help someone. Don’t let that happen to you. Your friends don’t need you to be the Bible college professor who takes Greek and Hebrew to carefully craft a presentation to answer their questions. What they need is someone who is humbly studying the Bible, applying it to his own life, and willing to share how he found the Word of God to help him.

Good disciples makers are humble students of God’s Word. They may not have shelves filled with commentaries or expensive Bible programs, but they do have a well-worn Bible on which they have spent much time meditating. Some of the best disciple makers I know use this common phrase when they don’t know the answer to a question: “I don’t know the answer, but I know where I can find the answer.” Their humble response teaches others that the answer is not found in man but in God’s Word.

In addition to being a humble student, good disciple makers are also obedient followers of God’s Word. They are consistently putting the Bible into action in their lives. They read the Bible with the purpose of obeying it, not just understanding it. Their lives become the flesh and blood example of what they are encouraging others to do with God’s Word.

Humble, obedient students of God’s Word make great disciple makers. Are you a humble, obedient student of God’s Word?

Mark 3:14 says of Jesus that He “ordained twelve, that they should be with him, and that he might send them forth to preach.” Our Lord used the classroom of everyday life to disciple people. Notice that the classroom He chose was not filled with chairs, desk, and a lectern. It probably would not have even included coffee at Starbucks, had He had access to one! He discipled others in the classroom of everyday life as they spent time with him.

You and I cannot program or structure really good discipleship, because it just happens in the routine of everyday life between people who are striving to pull one another along in their walk with the Lord! When discipleship is done well, it looks a lot like a good godly friendship. The relationship between friendship and discipleship is a two-edged sword. If you are struggling to have close friends, you will struggle to be a disciple maker. On the other hand, if you are able to build good friendships, then you will easily learn how to become a disciple maker.

At times, I have had people ask me to assign them someone to disciple, someone they can instruct and someone into whose life they can speak. But discipleship cannot be assigned. When we assign someone to another, it will inevitably look more like a classroom than a place of discipleship.

Good disciple makers don’t sit around waiting for someone to be assigned to them. They look at the friends God has already given them and begin discipling those friends using the tools we have talked about the last few weeks. Their goal is not to make their friends like themselves. Their goal is to walk with their friends in a way that leads both parties closer to Christlikeness.

Let’s work at having good godly friendships, because the more we work at that, the more we will find ourselves discipling others for the glory of God.

Let’s say that you are valuing small talk and practicing the fine art of auscultation (ie. listening). Through the means of these two tools God suddenly presents you with a real, meaningful, spiritual conversation with someone. This conversation reveals real spiritual needs and struggles in the life of another. You want to help! How do you lead that conversation at this new level?

Good disciple makers lead the conversation from a position of transparent humility, rather than expert authority. Let me illustrate.

I reached out to a friend one time about a struggle I was having in my walk with the Lord. This friend responded with a confident statement that he didn’t struggle like that but knew what I should do. He then proceeded to give Bible answers, but they felt as though they had been learned from the Bible college classroom, rather than from his own experience. I was experiencing a friend trying to help me from the position of expert authority.

Another time I reached out to a friend and asked for help with a struggle I was facing. This particular friend responded with a very humble testimony that he struggled in a similar way and was finding a set of Biblical truths to be of great help to him. He then proceeded to share what he was currently learning and how he thought that might help me. He was discipling me from the position of transparent humility. His position of transparent humility made his counsel easier to understand and apply.

Some people think that the key to being a disciple maker is having superior knowledge on a topic and perfect performance, but this is far from true. One of the greatest keys to being a disciple maker is having the transparency and humility to come alongside someone and grow with him in the same area.

Have you ever thought that some of your greatest assets in disciple making are the following?

1. Your own personal testimony of struggles

2. Lessons God taught you through those struggles

3. Lessons God is currently teaching you through those struggles.

Disciple making is not trying to bring someone to where I am but stepping alongside someone and growing with him to the place we both need to be. Use the position of transparent humility in your relationships with others. By God’s grace, may we grow together with others to the place God would have us all to be.